The X Factor: The live shows

The X Factor live shows got under way with a confident performance of special guest Robbie Williams' Let Me Entertain You - complete with scary mimes.

Louis told her she "rocked" and Cheryl said: "You thoroughly entertained me."

Simon confessed, with a Dubya-ism: "I may have mis-underestimated you... that was a great performance."

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Kandy Rain's raunchy version of Robert Palmer's Addicted to Love left the judges split on gender lines - with Dannii and Cheryl both sticking the boot into them for keeping their saucy image.

"You want to be judged on your singing and not what you did in the past," Cheryl said, "but then you come out dressed provocatively."

But Simon, ever the gentleman, sprang to the ladies' defence, telling Cheryl and Dannii: "You two have performed in the past practically half naked."

And he told the group: "You're fun, you're trying to make it in the music business, good luck to you!"

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Olly Murs performed She's The One by Robbie, overcoming his nerves to turn in a decent effort - complete with a tiny bit of moonwalking.

Dannii told him he "did it really well" and Cheryl said he "totally pulled it back by the end of the song".

Simon was perhaps a little over-enthusiastic in comparing him to Robbie in terms of charm - but then he is the guy's mentor.

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Rikki Loney's version of Back to Black by Amy Winehouse was, dare we say it, a bit cabaret - and earned him mixed reviews.

Louis and Dannii gave him qualified compliments, but Simon wasn't about to sugar the pill.

"I thought it was a silly song choice for you," he began. "I don't like the way you're styled, the silly hat. It was wet. You had no star quality and no confidence."

And then to finish the poor lad off, he added: "I can sort of see why you were singing in pubs."

Even Cheryl almost speechless at the ferocity of Simon's attack, and just told Rikki: "I've got your back".

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Stacey Solomon's spine-tingling version of The Scientist by Coldplay won the approval of all four judges though.

"You have no idea how good you could potentially be," Simon told her, before adding: "To come on and sing a Coldplay song is genius."

Louis told her she was "going to go a long, long way" and Cheryl said the only improvement needed was a nice dress.

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And the praise continued to flow after Miss Frank slayed the crowd with their rousing version of Who's Loving You - which compared favourably to the famous Jackson Five version.

They got the biggest applause of the night, and Dannii told them: "You've certainly given Mr Walsh the cool factor. I can't wait to see what you're gonna do week after week."

Cheryl said: "You're fresh, you;re original and I think there's a slot in the market waiting for you."

Simon gave with one hand as he told them it was a "fantastic song choice" and said they had "great potential", but took with the other hand as he described two of them as "bookends".

And we know Louis was being complimentary, but we don't know how pleased they were to be called "a female JLS". We reckon they're much better than that!

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Jamie Archer was in full-on rock star mode as he dressed up in a Jimi Hendrix-style military coat and tackled Get It On by T Rex.

Louis liked it, but said he said he needed to prove he was versatile. Dannii called it "authentic" and said his confidence would "take you all the way".

Simon, again being the over-enthusiastic mentor said it was "in a different league to everything else we've heard this evening".

It wasn't, but we'll let Simon off for making us laugh by saying Louis would have put Jamie in a blazer and made him sing Father and Son was.

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Lloyd Daniels never seemed entirely comfortable as he performed Justin Timberlake's Cry Me A River - and his dancing made us wince - but the judges had kind words anyway.

Louis told the 16-year-old he was "a born pop star" and Dannii said he was "streets ahead of Robbie when started in Take That".

Simon said the song had made him seem young (a good thing) and that he "came over as an authentic pop star".

Perhaps Cheryl hadn't really been listening to the others, because she told her young charge: "I don't care what any of them say, you're my little pop star."

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Lucie Jones struggled a bit with a huge arrangement of Leona's Footprints in the Sand - and also with the wind machine that kept blowing her hair across her face.

Louis called her a "natural born performer with a natural voice" and said she was "going to be in this competition for a long, long time".

Cheryl said her voice was "absolutely stunning", but although Simon agreed it was beautiful he warned her that "there's a ceiling" to what she could do with it.

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They may have become the most hated men in the country over the last week, but John and Edward tried not to let it show as they mugged their way through a well-choreographed but tuneless version of Robbie's Rock DJ.

Cheryl somehow managed to smile while sticking the knife in, saying: "You can't sing, FACT, but you;re up there giving it a go. It's not your fault you're in the final 12. Good for you for coming out there tonight."

Even Simon couldn't equal that, and made do with baldly stating: "The truth is Louis put you through because you are Irish."

Even Louis damned them with faint praise, saying: "Not all the pop stars in the charts are great singers."

We almost felt sorry for them. But we didn't.

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